CRIKEY!!!!

What a week! I feel absolutely shredded, but elated that I have the day off today.
Matty has been away in Wodonga since Tuesday afternoon (he's been doing 12+ hour days, starting at 4am!!!!), so I expected this week to be tricky. I also had a big work week on the horizon. To (hopefully) make the load a bit easier this week, I decided to work my behind off last week - I even worked through the long weekend (the only long weekend Matt has a year, how nasty am I), and clocked up my first full-time week in a year. This involved quite a few 5.30am starts and midnight finishes. I had hoped that this would mean I could simply focus on home and Jessica from Wednesday - Friday. (By way of explanation for this lunacy, one of my work colleagues has a massive deadline falling due today, and the amount of work required is far too much for one person to complete in a week and a half, so I was asked to help.)
Well, the workload was bigger than I expected, and the work took a lot longer than I anticipated. As a result I had to work every day this week, too, although this only meant 5 or 6 hours a day (but again, late at night and early in the morning!) Jessica was also, understandably, a bit unsettled by her Daddy's absence, and is teething again, so the nights have been rather punishing. Still, thanks to the Magical Bean (coffee) and a further lowering of my housekeeping standards, I have been ok.
Yesterday was d-day as far as work went, and although it was a magnificent sunny day outside, I spent the whole day inside working! Poor Jessica spent a bit of time playing by herself (which I usually try to avoid, preferring to work while she sleeps). The afternoon was very very frantic, as I tried to finish my portion of the work. I gave Jessica her snack in her highchair (diced two fruits, cheese and rice cakes) while I typed away. Well, dopey me didn't put the main bowl of two fruits far enough away from Miss Curious, so I then had two fruits and juice all over the carpet! My inner monologue had a few choice words on hand to describe my IQ while I cleaned up.
At 6 o'clock I emailed the last of the layouts to my colleague and put the dinner on. Dinner was rather messy and fun, so a shower was in order. The plan was then to do some grocery shopping, but another silly young magpie delayed us a bit by falling down the chimney (the second in a few months!) He hadn't fallen all the way down so was perched just above the main fireplace, and still inside the chimney. I tried to grab him without success for about 15 minutes and then decided (as we were out of milk and I now really needed some ice cream) that the grocery shopping was still a good idea. Got home at 8.45 with a veeeeery tired girl (I'm sure some of the people at Safeway thought I was a nasty Mum for dragging a poor little girl to the Supermarket at 8pm), settled her in for the night, had a quick chat to Matty (who had done another 12+ hour day), and set about catching and releasing the silly Maggie. He was not happy - in fact he squawked a few times and tried to bite - but eventually I got him with a bedsheet and released him outside. After spending a few minutes wiping the soot off my face and out of my ears, I then put the shopping away. I then sat down in front of the tv with some therapy (see attached)! Yes, I ate all four of them!!!!! And I can answer your inevitable question ("Why pay for four tiny cups when for another $1.50 you could have two litres of Cadbury Light Turkish Delight Ice Cream??) - because if I had bought two litres, the eventual outcome would have been the same - there, again, would be no ice cream in the house!

I must say that these past 3 days have increased my appreciation for people who permanently do this on their own. I could barely last 3 days (!!!), and I at least had the comfort of Matty on the phone, and the realisation that he would be back soon. To look after little ones and manage even a part time job on your own must be a superhuman task.
Today feels like Christmas - no work, just a bit of housework and playing with Jessica and Jersey. Fantastic. Tomorrow we are all going to Dad & Ros's house for the afternoon/evening, to celebrate Kate's birthday. Double Fantastic!!!
Let's finish today with a picture of Jessica in her carseat, which was turned around to the Toddler position on Sunday (as she is now 8kg). Doesn't she look like a big girl?

Ok, one more. Here's one of my two girls playing together. They really are becoming great mates!

Lookee what I got!

Got Seasons 1 and 2 of The Cosby Show in the post a few months back, on order from the USA. Very exciting! Season 1 has since been released in Australia, so I would highly recommend it (I think the RRP is about $35).
I was amazed at how many of the lines I remembered word for word, especially when watching the Season 2 episodes. It's been probably 16+ years since I saw any of them. I suppose that is to be expected when we probably videotaped them every week and watched them until the tape disintegrated!
I especially enjoyed watching the opening credits - it brought back memories of James (then 2 or 3) and I (then 11 or 12) screaming out to the living room at 7.29pm on Mondays to watch the show, and trying to dance along with Bill Cosby as the opening credits rolled. Every year when a new season started we were both keen to see what the "dancing bit" was for that year. I recall that one year the entire cast were dressed in Roman gear!
I have absolutely loved watching the show again and I think I may have enjoyed it more this time around than when I was 11. Its comedy is gentle and sweet, and the family is actually functional. There doesn't seem to be any underlying animosity between Cliff and Clair Huxtable, let alone any hostility. The family members don't seem to treat each other with sarcasm, and the kids even openly respect the authority of their parents!!! I don't think a functional family like that would rate these days!
But I think what I enjoy most of all is having memories of that time come flooding back. Memories of my beloved nephew and I enjoying the show together every Monday night.

OUCH

How's this for a zinger. Below is what John Laws had to say about Alan Jones, his former radio colleague (now his competitor);
"He caters to the prejudice of the masses and it's a very clever thing to do, it's a good way to get on".
MEEEEEOOOOOUUUUWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

October Q&A

Thought I would try to precis the month again. It's been a busy one!
The year is rocketing along, work is getting veeerrry busy, and Miss Jessica is becoming so mobile and talkative (and so funny. As I write she is shotputting rice crackers, trying to share them with Jersey). Bring on Christmas.... only 1 more month until we can put the tree up!

What books and/or magazines did I read this month?
Started reading Dare to Discipline by Josh McDowell, and read a bit of Affluenza again. Hope to read some Ravi Zacharias next month; Matt and I have really been enjoying listening to his podcasts while driving/working. Flicked through Donna Hay magazine (a gift from the Dougies 4 for my birthday), *sigh*, such a beautiful looking magazine. Wish I had time to cook beautiful food at the moment!

What movies and/or tv shows did I watch this month?
Watched a bit of Scrubs, but that was about it. And the occasional bit of Sesame Street and Raggs, of course! We're back to not really watching TV again at the moment - nothing on the tube really interests us, and who really needs TV when you've got a good selection of DVDs and video podcasts?

What illnesses or health concerns did I have in October?
None! Feeling pretty good (although could always do with some more sleep)...

What fun things did I do with my friends and/or family?
Made two trips to Cape Patterson with Matty, Jessica and Jersey, and spent a few hours in St Kilda after work a few Mondays back. Had lots of fun at home with Jessica.

What new foods, recipes or restaurants did I try in March?
None really. Same old same old.

What special or unusual purchases did I make?
Started the Christmas shopping; that's always pretty special. Hope to have it finished in the next few weeks. We also upgraded our modem speed and increased our broadband download limit. Matt and I have had lots of fun downloading podcasts and videos.

What were this month’s disappointments?
Still not getting a regular walk with Jersey, didn't get around to washing the car this month, and still haven't done my tax!

What were my accomplishments this month?
Matt and I finally tidied up the garden and put some new mulch down. It looks much better!

Made it to Cape Patterson Again Yesterday! WOO HOO!!!!

I've had this photo sitting in my blog for the past 4 days, but have not been sure of what to say.
I knew that losing my Mum would still hurt a lot. But I didn't expect it still to sting so much. I sometimes find myself, like a little child, exclaiming that "I want my Mum", usually when I am extremely tired, upset, overwhelmed, or simply missing her. I still dream about her a lot.

I must say, though, that when I think about Mum, the overwhelming feeling I have is gratitude. I am so thankful that she was my Mum. I'm so grateful for the example she was to my sisters and I, and to everyone else (there were so many) to whom she became a surrogate Mum. I still don't think I can have many conversations about her without remembering someone else she & Dad cared for over the years.
I'm grateful for the way she viewed life and all God's gifts to her, and how she made the time to appreciate them. I'm inspired by the way she faced her illness and by her stubborn courage. I'm humbled and challenged by her faith.

I'll never forget the way she loved her grandchildren. Remembering the way she would cuddle and hold them makes my whole body ache as I realise what Jessica is missing. Although it seems odd, though, these memories also comfort me, as I imagine that perfect day when Jessica will meet her precious Grandma.

I SCREAM!

We made a trip into the city on Monday - I had to go into work, so Matty and Jessica decided to come in with me and see the sights while I was in the office. Sounds like they had a lovely time at Southgate, Birrarung Marr, the Arts Centre, the Shrine and the Botanical Gardens (Matt even showed Jessica the Floral Clock; I can remember as a child nagging Mum & Dad to take me to see it anytime we were remotely near the city!) Matt received lots of kudos from a group of old ladies waiting for Half Tix to open, and even had his picture taken by a group of tourists. Perhaps the men don't commonly help with the babies in Japan? At 2.30 I excitedly tore out of work and the three of us went to St Kilda beach. It felt so good to be doing something different. Work has been so busy lately, at times I have been feeling that all I do is work, work, work, and work! Although I do love the work, I get a bit tired and sometimes I feel that there is not a real balance. Some days I haven't even been able to leave the house. Anyhow, we had a lovely time feeding the seagulls (Finding Nemo was so spot-on), walking along St Kilda Pier, and having coffee and a sandwich at the Pier Kiosk (I had been so busy at work that I hadn't eaten!). This was followed by a walk along the beach and finally a trip up Acland Street to 7 Apples, a fantastic gelateria. Matt had a cup of fruity gelati, and I (completely out of character) went for bubblegum, panna cotta and coconut! No wonder I felt sick when we got home. I felt a bit mean eating such a fun-looking item in front of Jessica, so (with Matt's agreement) decided to let her have a taste. For a little girl, eating ice cream means using your hands as well as your mouth! She didn't love the taste - it was a bit sickly, not up to the usual standard at 7 Apples - but I think she had fun. Work is now finished for the week - I put in a pretty big day yesterday, and was up until midnight. I'm very excited now; it feels like Christmas to be able to have tomorrow off! Tonight's agenda includes take away Berwick Thai, and perhaps some Nanny McPhee on DVD. But for now, I'd better go and do the vacuuming. It's been a veeeeeery busy work week, and the house looks like it's ready to be condemned.

Apple Dumpling

Further evidence that our little girl is growing up. Not only is she drinking from a cup (with some help), crawling all over the place, opening the kitchen drawers (from today), pulling herself up in a millisecond, and trying to call her puppy (Jussss-ihhhhh!!!), but last Sunday at her Granny's house she decided she was ready to select and eat her own apple - skin and all!
Sooooo cute. These will be on the 21st video for sure.

9 Months Old

Been a looooooong time since I posted anything. The days must be getting shorter or something. Jessica has been crawling since Sept 16th (a lovely birthday present for her Daddy), and is now zooming all over the house, chasing Jersey, emptying the pantry and pulling herself up on the TV.
Every day Matt and I comment that she must be the happiest baby on earth; she has the broadest smile ever, and hearing her giggle is the most beautiful sound. She's developing a very strong sense of humour, and is becoming quite adept at letting us know if she's no longer hungry, if she's frustrated, or if we have something she wants!
We took her to the beach (at Cape Patterson) on Sunday afternoon - she wiggled her toes in the sand, splashed in a few rock pools, played with the wiggly slimy seaweed, and even gobbled up some sand! We hope to get back very soon; it's a lovely way to spend a few hours, and Jersey really seems to appreciate the trip also.
Work is very very very busy at present. I find myself working 20+ hours a week, which means that I often feel that I have no time to relax; although I do love playing with Jessica, so that very much counts as rest time!
The attached pics were taken at the beach on Sunday, and this afternoon.

Must try to get back here more often, so much happens every day!

No steak knives....

But there's more!
That is, there are more.
Photos, that is....

Beautiful Day

It has been an absolutely glorious late Winter's day today. Sunny, warm, and breezy. It came with perfect timing, too. Just as winter seemed to be dragging on and on, along comes one of these days. I realised today (as I do every year) that winter doesn't last forever, and that the warmer months are almost upon us. Life felt pretty good anyway, but today's weather was some sweeeeeeet icing. Makes me want to start spring cleaning - I've already started a list for myself, but we'll just have to see how much I can get done. Jessica continues to be an amazing little person to be around. She is so full of smiles and cheeky grins. She's had a hard time lately, as she has just cut her two top lateral teeth (the ones next to the middle teeth), and is currently cutting both top middle teeth and a top canine. I can see how angry and swollen her top gumline is. We have been making good use of the bonjela and children's panadol these past two nights, and they do seem to provide her with relief for a couple of hours at a time. She's still trying to start crawling; I don't think it will be many weeks now until she is chasing Jersey all over the house. Mealtimes continue to be great fun - her appetite is steadily increasing, and a few days ago she realised that it is great fun to blow a raspberry with a mouthful of food! It's so hard to appear displeased when you just want to laugh along with her. Jersey and Jessica are becoming great friends. Jersey has learned that the highchair is a great hangout if you want free food. Earlier today Jersey tried to entice Jessica into a game of fetch by rolling the ball to her several times. It was pretty funny to watch; Jersey couldn't understand why Jessica wouldn't throw the ball to her. The attached photos were taken early this afternoon; Jessica is watching, and laughing, at Jersey. Magic.

Look who's sitting up all by herself!

And rather proud of herself, too!
We have a family get-together on Saturday at Dad and Ros's house, to celebrate Dad's birthday, Josiah's 12th birthday, Matt's 11th, Rachel's 13th, and my (eeeeeuuuwwww) 32nd. Really looking forward to seeing how Jessica interacts with her cousins; she is so funny!!!! I don't think it will be very long now until she is crawling around the place. She's gone (in the space of a few days) from only occasionally rolling over, to being so keen on it that we now have trouble keeping her still for a clothing or nappy change!

I can feed myself!

Time Flies

Good Grief.
I can't believe it has been over 2 months since my last post. Cliche alert - but it just seems that every day gets busier and busier. I've been getting a bit more work each week - this week so far it's been 20 hours - which has really crammed everything else (into a jammed mess sometimes, but mess can be fun!)

Jessica started swimming classes this week, which is more for fun than anything else. She really loved it. Still getting along to Mum's Group, which is really great for me as well. I never thought I would cope hanging around with a group of women, but they are all fantastic - it is one of the highlights of my week. I was worried that it might be a really competitive atmosphere, but more than anything else, everyone is very open about not getting everything done, taking shortcuts, and not vacuuming for days on end. It's such a relief. I never thought I would cope with letting so much slide, but now I just find it pretty funny. You can only do your best! I can honestly say that I really look forward to each new day, but who can blame me with such a lovely bunch of people (and gorgeous dog) to greet me every morning.
Speaking of funny, yesterday I was feeding Jessica her lunch of Avocado and Apple MUSH (she's been on solids for about 2 weeks), and she wasn't really enjoying the whole experience. Seems she really wanted to have a go at feeding herself!

More soon......

Play is Serious Business

Jessica's Aunty Jenny & Uncle Glen let us borrow this fantastic toy. I set it up for Her Majesty yesterday, and she instantly LOVED it! I love how seriously she takes playtime, she is constantly learning.

TEETH!!!!!

A very brief post only today, things are very, very hectic. Still, I am learning to enjoy the madness and the unpredictability. I might as well not fight it!
I actually made a list of all the things I would like to, and need to, get done in any given week (including sleep of course), also indicating how many hours I would need to complete each activity. I found that I had a 23 hour deficit each week! Hence, the vacuuming has not been done this week, and I am yet to brush my hair today. I am scrounging time to get my paid work done. Looking at these photos, though, I simply don't care if I never get everything done. I am slowly accepting that I will (a) never be able to get everything done, and (b) what I do manage to achieve will not be up to my usual standard. Finally, I think I might almost be ok with this. It feels good.

Isn't She Lovely?

March Q & A

I pinched this idea from Deb's blog - right up my alley to precis my month, as I feel so short on time at the moment!

What books and/or magazines did I read this month?
I read an issue of Practical Parenting, and started to get excited about starting Jessica on solids in 3 months. I am really looking forward to seeing her little face scrunch up when she tries new tastes and textures!

What movies and/or tv shows did I watch this month?
Lots! I find it very relaxing to watch TV (or at least have it on in the background) when feeding Jessica, expressing milk, or during Jessica's fussy periods when she just won't sleep unless she's in my arms. Most notably I watched a l-o-o-o-o-t of the Commonwealth Games (mostly swimming and gymnastics), the 1st three seasons of Scrubs on DVD (again! My favourite), and Season 2 of Frontline. Also watched a little bit of commercial TV, and started getting hooked on The Biggest Loser. I keep crying whenever I see one of the contestants progressing so well, feeling good about their achievements, and obviously getting better.

What illnesses or health concerns did I have in March?
Just fatigue, and a little bit of low milk supply as a result. Nothing major.

What fun things did I do with my friends and/or family?
Had a great get-together at my Dad's place to celebrate Jen, Glenn and Grace's birthdays. Jessica was soooo into everyone, and extremely alert. Lots of lovely smiles! Uncle Roy came to visit all the way from London, which we always really look forward to.

What new foods, recipes or restaurants did I try in March?
Made roasted salmon with mashed sweet potato and galliano & passionfruit sauce when Christina, Anthony, Jesse and Harrison came to dinner. Yummmm. Other than that, just the same old thing for dinner, which is good anyway! A few nights of cereal for dinner when Matt and I were both just toooooo tired....

What special or unusual purchases did I make?
I bought seasons 2 and 3 of Frontline, seasons 1 and 2 of The Cosby Show, and 2 more seasons of Frasier, however Cosby and Frasier didn't arrive until April 3rd.

What were this month’s disappointments?
Didn't make it to the creek with Jersey very much. I feel guilty about not being able to give her a lot of time lately; I think she's still fine and happy, but I would love to be able to take her for a BIG WALK at least twice a week. Will keep trying.

What were my accomplishments this month?
Finally feeling a bit more confident in my ability to look after Jessica (especially with regard to feeding).
Started working again, just 8 or so hours per week from home, usually when Jessica is asleep or late at night (hence the tiredness!)

Bittersweet

Well, my little lady has dropped her night feed. She is currently still sleeping soundly, 9 hours after she (finally) got off to bed. This will be her second successive night "sleeping through". She was previously sleeping 5 or 6 hours at a stretch, but now she has extended this to 8 or 9!
It's odd, but I didn't mind the night feeds, especially once they dropped to 1 a night. It was so lovely being able to get up and settle Jessica and fill that little tummy up again, and then watch her drift back off to sleep! I guess we still sometimes get to see that at night, though.
Hopefully we will get to the health centre sometime soon (our nurse is sick so today's appointment had to be postponed); I am keen to learn how much weight she has gained, so I can be confident that she really is doing well. There's lots of "output" though, so I think she is just fine...
Picked up some work this past week, also, which is great; I really love the work, it is a very nice way of making some extra money! I am finding it a bit difficult to make the time to do it, though; often I only manage an hour or 2 a day. 2 hours would be sufficient (to get the work done), but it's hard to scrape that together sometimes! Jessica is playing independently for a little while each day, so perhaps I could use some of that time for work. However (and this was plaguing me at 4 this morning) I don't want to miss any of her baby time, so would rather spend that time just watching her. I'm sure I can work something out....
Looks like a lovely day today, so I am hoping to give Jessica some fresh air on the deck this afternoon. She just loves looking at all the leaves - maybe I will get a couple of photos too!

New Pics of the Lovely One

Busy Busy

Things have been very busy here lately, just with everyday stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Fortunately the breastfeeding issues have been solved, after a bit of hard work, a visit from the council Lactation Nurse, and lots of encouragement from lots of people, especially Matt. In the end Matty reminded me that Jessica was in great shape, that God was looking after us, and I just needed to get it out of my head that I was going to need to give her formula. I don't know why it was so, but the very thought of failing to breastfeed really messed me around. Matt would agree that I was just about ready to be hospitalised due to stress and exhaustion.

The whole episode was a positive one, however, for a number of reasons. Cheifly, it made me realise, once again, that I needed to rely completely on God. Over the weeks that I felt that I was in real trouble, I came to understand, again, that I can do nothing without God. What a great place to be once the clouds in my mind lifted and I realised that He was always looking after Jessica and, whatever happened, He held her in his hands.
The other positive to this, of course, is that it made me really analyse why breastfeeding is so important to me. Was it that I wanted to lose weight? Well, since really beefing up my diet (lots of carbohydrates, extra protein, and Sustagen), I had actually gained a kilo, and I wasn't worried, because all I wanted to do was to be able to feed my little girl. So, no. Was it pride? Possibly, to a degree - I really don't like failing at anything. But, overall, I came to realise that I genuinely believed that this was the best food for Jessica, and as difficult as it can be, I really wanted her to have the protection and nutrition that breastmilk provides. I then thought about the fact that God designed the whole process, and that if I handed the situation over to Him, either (a) I could breastfeed successfully, or (b) He would help me to cope emotionally with feeding Jessica formula. I realised that I therefore could relax, knowing that if I trusted Him, we would be ok. One way or another, I knew He wouldn't let Jessica starve which, deep down, was what I feared, ridiculous as it sounds. Within a couple of days of realising this, things really improved.

I'm still wiggling into some sort of a routine around here, although no two days seem to be alike. Jessica is sleeping really well, usually from 10.30pm to 4.30am, then feeding until 5.30 and sleeping until 8 or 9. I stay up until about 6.30am to express and then go back to bed; so most days I am managing about 7 - 8 hours' sleep! Some nights she does require an additional night feed (about 2am), but not often. She doesn't sleep much during the day, often only managing 3 short naps, but I guess this is all she needs right now. In any given 24 hours she has about 14 hours' sleep, so I think that is ok. She certainly seems healthy, so that is proof enough for me!

We're off to my Dad's this afternoon, to celebrate Glenn, Jen, and Grace's birthdays, which I am really looking forward to. I'm a bit miffed, though, as I ordered a DVD for Jen's birthday from Amazon.com, and despite being posted almost 3 weeks ago, it hasn't arrived yet! Should be a great afternoon. Deb, Ray and the kids are also coming up, which will be great, I haven't seen them since late January, when Jessica was only 3 or 4 weeks old. She is so much bigger now; I hope she gives them lots of her beautiful smiles!

Jessica actually laughed for the first time last night, and I missed it! I was out at Fountain Gate for a couple of hours, and Matt was looking after her. She was a bit upset and refused to sleep, so he picked her up to comfort her. A few attempts didn't work (once she is upset she really hangs onto it), so he put some music on ("Hella Good" by No Doubt) and danced with her, and sang! He said her expression suddenly changed from agro, to a bit stunned, and then she started laughing at him! How fantastic - can't wait to see her do that again. I think I may request an encore performance from Matt when he gets home from work today..... hee hee!!

Lazy Saturday

Well, not exactly...

Jessica is due for her lunch, so all I have time to do is post some pics of Her Loveliness, taken last week during bathtime. She is so cute!
Have had a very busy week; some serious breastfeeding problems following a case of the flu the week before, so getting things going again has been hard work. It's been rough on Jessica, too, as she has had to work really hard to get a feed, and often doesn't get enough right away; some of the feeds have taken 2+ hours, which is really cruel. I think she senses that I am upset about the whole thing, too, so she isn't sleeping too well. Fortunately we have plenty of expressed milk on hand so she is still getting enough to eat.

She's awake! Best go....

Finally...

Well, I finally did it! I finally made the time to start my blog.
I'm afraid there will be nothing profound this time around, as I am pretty tired (just put my precious 6-week-old down for a nap).
I had my 6 week postnatal checkup today, which was non-eventful, although it was kind of bittersweet. It was lovely to see Dr Lam, who is just the most fantastic obstetrician ever (not that I have a frame of reference, but he was pretty great), and Shelley, the wonderful midwife who works with him. It is a bit of a shame that we won't see them again for a while ...well, hopefully sometime in the first half of next year. Come on, I'm 31, if I plan on having a few kids we probably should have a little brother or sister for the lovely Miss Jessica pretty soon!!! I wonder how obstetricians and midwives cope with their patients bonding with them. Or perhaps not many/all of them do. It must be amazing to be a part of such a profound part of a family's life.
I finally took some pics of Jessica today - she was a bit sleepy, and I am still trying to learn how to use this fancy schmancy camera optimally, so the results weren't that great. The lovely Matthew bought me such a great camera (a Canon EOS 350d if anyone's interested), and I haven't had time to learn how to use it!
I wanted to spend some time here trying to describe how amazing being a Mum is, although (again due to the tiredness) if I attempted it now I would probably just sound all sloppy and cliched. Needless to say, I am so excited each morning when I wake up and realise that we get to spend another day with our daughter. She is just the most precious gift we could ever have been given.